Fault, Bias, & Decision Making In Divorce
According to recent surveys, the most common reason that couples divorce is due to “unreasonable behavior,” but what does this mean, exactly? The definition varies based upon the individual and the circumstances, but the behaviors most frequently associated with the phrase include a lack of emotional support, secretive, financial debt, and drug, alcohol, or other abuse, such as verbal or physical abuse and/or violence.
In fact, more than half of all divorces studied as part of these surveys involved women divorcing men due to this “unreasonable behavior;” In other words, women were more likely to cite “unreasonable behavior” than men when it comes to assigning fault for divorce.
Below, we discuss some of the factors and circumstances involved in deciding whether to divorce or not:
Fault & Making the Decision
While citing fault is typically no longer relevant when it comes to obtaining a divorce, as it does not usually affect the distribution of assets, still, there are a series of questions some relationship experts have formulated as the result of speaking with couples who are both married and divorced. These are the questions that many ask themselves as they contemplate divorce:
- Are we a good fit?
- Do we have a strong friendship?
- Do we want the same things out of the relationship and life?
- Are our expectations realistic?
- Do we see the best in each other?
- Do we both work at keeping a relationship vibrant?
- Do we feel that we are able to discuss things freely with each other?
- Are we both committed to working through hard times?
- When we face stressful circumstances, do we pull together to get through it?
- Do we have a support system around us and others?
High Conflict Divorce & “Confirmation Bias”
Confirmation bias is a concept in psychology which describes the phenomenon of seeking support for a belief or bias you already have. As it applies to divorce, it is sometimes seen in high-conflict divorce cases, especially if one individual within the relationship is suspected to have a personality disorder, such as narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. For example, if a child is hesitant to spend time with one parent, parents can sometimes jump to conclusions as to the cause of this behavior when emotions are already running high under these circumstances; abuse, purposeful estrangement, alienation, etc.
This is why working with a family law attorney is critical when it comes to divorce, as attorneys can help gather facts and help a parent accurately figure out what has actually occurred and could be the cause of a particular phenomenon.
Reach Out to Us Today for Help
If you have any questions about divorce or a related area, contact our Rockland County divorce attorneys at the Law Office of Robert S. Sunshine, P.C. today to find out how we can help.